I wanted to pound my head into the ground. How could she not see that this same old path was leading to the wide gate of destruction? It was the very opposite direction she so desperately wanted her life to go. She forged ahead bypassing all of the exits God was giving her.

My heart was in full objection. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Once a person accepted Jesus, weren’t desires supposed to change? Where was the strength to say no to the flesh, and walk in the freedom of the Spirit? Weren’t they supposed to plug into community, show up to Bible study and make right choices? And then follow the Holy Spirit to the happily ever after with Jesus?

In heaven, yes. On earth, sometimes.

I felt more frustration than compassion and intuitively knew something was missing. My knees hit the floor with this plea towards God: Show me how You have loved me, so I can love her.

I knew the gospel in my head, but my heart didn’t know how to apply it. As He has been faithful to answer, I’ve learned that I cannot lead well if I do not love well. The more God has connected me to His love, the more opportunities He has given me to love those different than me. And what better example to follow in loving well than Jesus Himself. No matter what capacity you lead in, it will involve people. And leading people well will require loving people well.

If we can learn to love like Him, we’re on our way to leading like Him. So just how did Jesus love?

Jesus loved by initiating, and so can we.

Jesus didn’t sit around waiting for people to stop by His place on their visits to Galilee. He got up and went to the people who were the most outcast people of His day. His purpose was clear — to seek and save the lost. He had to go through Samaria to initiate with the outcast woman at the well, He paused at the tree to invite Himself over to lunch at the highly hated tax-collector, and He called a group of misfits one by one to be His disciples.

If we want to love like Jesus, we must initiate with those He’s nudging us toward. How do we know who to initiate with and when? Simply ask, and keep asking until you are given an answer. Holy Spirit, who are you drawing to Yourself? Where are you at work? Who do you want me to love? The short answer like Bob Goff says, is everybody, always, but there’s a good chance He also has a more specific assignment for you.

While you wait, get outside and get connected. Say hello to your neighbors, ask your co-worker a real question, strike up conversation with another mom at school drop-off or ask the person who serves you coffee about their family.

When the Holy Spirit prompts you with the tiniest nudge, get curious. Ask questions to understand their experience, pain, and struggles, not expose it. Be the sunrise, not the spotlight.

Jesus loved by accepting, and so can we.

Did you ever notice the order of Jesus’ statements to the woman caught in adultery? First, neither do I condemn you. Second, go and sin no more. Before He instructed her to change her life, He accepted her as she was, guilt-ridden and shame-stained. Don’t confuse the order. Sometimes people cannot change until they have experienced the acceptance of God through Jesus Christ.

We can accept people by listening with open ears and an open heart. Listen for disappointment, hurt and pain. As you listen, often the Holy Spirit will reveal an intersection where the gospel can land. We can accept people by experiencing their story with them, rather than evaluating it. Ask about their family, interests, relationships and experiences (FIRE). And remember, acceptance of a sinner does not equal approval or agreement of sin.

We can accept people by understanding. We all have different outward behaviour, but beneath different behaviour is the same struggle with sin— idolatry, fear, insecurity, anxiety, feelings of insufficiency and invisibility. You can identify with someone different than you when you identify not with their behaviour but their belief system. Our hearts share these common denominators.

Accept by waiting for the Holy Spirit’s leading for what, when, and how to respond. In this waiting, you can accept by being with them, not simply just getting something done.

Jesus loved by inviting, and so can we.

Do you believe that Jesus is not only the way and the truth, but He is the life? That God’s rules for living are not simply arbitrary fun-crushers? His rules are not restrictive, but protective so we can be restored to true life? Sin actually puts something at stake but that something is not the acceptance of God — He made that available through Jesus Christ. Our invitations to God’s way of living should flow from a deep compassion that righteousness is not restrictive, but the conviction that sin is destructive.

Have you ever thought of Jesus’ instruction to “go and sin no more,” was good news? It was because He knew the truth; that there being no condemnation for sin was not the same thing as no consequences. No condemnation means that sin has no dominion over us, but it is still damaging. We are no longer enslaved to sin, but make no mistake, we can be entangled with it. The instruction of Life Himself, wants us to turn from sin.

Go love like Jesus, it’s the first step to leading like Jesus.

Recommended Resources:

1. 

   Do Ask, Do Tell, Let’s Talk: Why and How Christians Should Have Gay Friends by Brad Hambrick

2. Messy Grace: How A Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction by Caleb Kaltenbach
3. The Mud and the Masterpiece: Seeing Yourself and Others Through the Eyes of Jesus by John Burke
4. No Perfect People Allowed: Creating a Come-As-You-Are Culture in Church by John Burke

Stephanie Beaulieu is a lover of God’s Word and shares that passion online at getintotheword.ca, in her living room and anywhere else God opens a door. She is a born communicator with contagious love and enthusiasm for Jesus. Stephanie’s passion is to see women rooted and grounded in His love until it overflows in ways that will transform eternity.

She is the founder of Converge Women, a local interdenominational gathering of women connected for the kingdom. As a wife and mom of 3, she shares from her wealth of relatable stories that will inspire you to see everyday life through the lens of truth. She is authentic, funny and you will wish she lived next door. She and her husband Mike serve at the Pathway Church and make their home in Airdrie, Alberta.

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